have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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