I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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