I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
