Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
