i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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