Your face is a jimmy john
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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