I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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