Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
