I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
