I faked an abortion last night.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
