Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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