I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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