She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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