just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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