im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you traded sex for a burrito?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
