Got a toothbrush?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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