Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
