Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
