Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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