She announced her abortion via fbk
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
