I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
