Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
