My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Plan B is the new Plan A
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
NoShamevember. You game?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize