I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
id be glad to
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize