His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
