I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize