Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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