What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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