That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
