How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I have aggressive nipples.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
