This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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