i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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