so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
