Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You left your underwear on the fireplace
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
