ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize