Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize