he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
