haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
