I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
