Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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