Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
