So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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