I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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