Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Operation Purity has been aborted
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
