So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
