ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
