I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I think my fart just growled at me.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
