I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
