My vagina just recognized that song.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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