I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
