Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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