Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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