I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Hippo gnu deer
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
