I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
