quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
