are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
