Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You dont lie about slip and slides
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
