Slut skills are useful in every country.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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