that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Come see our sink grown plant.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
