How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
